What I miss when I am away

I have a fun­ny sto­ry to tell you. Amy filled me in on the hap­pen­ings of the week­end and this sto­ry is too good to not share.

While I was away at Guys Week­end, she was clean­ing on Sat­ur­day night and she hears a “hel­loooo” out of no where.

She goes to the front door and there is my dad stand­ing at the end of the steps, he says, “some­one wants to talk to you”, and Amy says, “who?” and he says, “Their in the car”.

It turns out that Muriel and Lor­raine had come over and he took them for a dri­ve in his new mini­van. While they were out, he decid­ed to show them the out­side of our new home (he lives close to us).

He drove by and saw our mini­van in the dri­ve­way and decid­ed to knock and see if we were there, but when he saw the door open, he decid­ed to holler so he would­n’t have to try and climb the steps with his bad leg… or scare anyone.

So Muriel and Lor­raine (My great aunt and grand­moth­er) come in and see the house and they all love it! As they are stand­ing around talk­ing, my dad looks at Amy and very qui­et­ly says, “We are going to get some tacos”.

So Amy picks up his hint and says, “Well, we were just about to leave and go get some din­ner, because we haven’t eat­en yet.”

Dad winks at her and says, “Do you like tacos?” and Amy says, “yeah we love tacos.”

Muriel pipes up and says, “Is there a taco place around here?” and dad says, “Yeah, they just put one up in the new vil­lage a few miles away.” So Muriel then invites every­one to din­ner. (My dad can be so sneaky…course it helps when they are both half deaf!)

So they arrive at the restau­rant and Amy is stand­ing behind My dad and Muriel and they are fac­ing each oth­er at the counter decid­ing what to get and Amy is fac­ing the order-taker-chick.

They both are look­ing at my dad and Muriel like it is a ten­nis match, back and forth, Muriel would ask how much some­thing was and dad would then say, “well, why don’t you get this, or this or this” this went on for like 15 minutes.

Final­ly they decid­ed what they want­ed and Muriel kept ask­ing how much each thing was or sec­ond guess­ing her­self, so the order tak­er looks at Amy and Amy tells her the order and says to put it in. So she does. Amy is just gig­gling the whole time.

So then Muriel is ask­ing for the total. And every­one is try­ing to tell her and she can’t hear, so then they are try­ing to show her the dis­play that has the amount. The whole time her hand has her pen and is in the spot where you write the num­ber amount in your check. So Amy reach­es around and grabs her hand and helps her write the amount. Muriel is kin­da laugh­ing about this and the clerk is try­ing so hard not to laugh.

Then, Muriel is try­ing to fig­ure out the date, and dad was­n’t lis­ten­ing and tells her the total, so then Amy tells her the date again. So Muriel fin­ish­es with the check and then tears it out of her book, but leaves it sit there as she is writ­ing in her reg­is­ter. So Amy reach­es around, slips the check out and gives it to the cashier. The cashier then is telling them their order num­ber at the same time as the cook calls the order num­ber out… wait, it gets better:

They get a booth and a table next to it. Amy, my mom and Muriel and my dad are sit­ting in the booth, while Lor­raine and the kids are at the table.

This is a Taco Bell/Long John Sil­ver’s com­bo restau­rant, so the cashier comes over with lit­tle pirate hats for the kids. A few min­utes lat­er Amy looks over at the table and starts gig­gling, every­one asks her what is so fun­ny and she says, “This is the adult table and that is the kid table.” Every­one looks over and all the kids have their hat on and so does Lor­raine! Every­one starts gig­gling… wait, it gets better.…

Lor­raine sees this lit­tle girl who has on this cute out­fit, she wants Muriel to see it so she can make one for the girls (my great-aunt is a won­der­ful seam­stress). So, for 15 min­utes every­one is try­ing to get Muriel to see this girl, but every time she final­ly hears them and looks, the girl goes behind the counter or her par­ents stand in front of her and Muriel keeps say­ing, “I don’t see anyone!”

By this time Amy is crack­ing up, she is laugh­ing so hard that she sounds like she is hyper-ven­ti­lat­ing. So every­one (except Lor­raine, who can’t hear any­thing going on) is laugh­ing and ask­ing if she is okay, and Amy quips, “Lor­raine, give me your oxy­gen”. Lor­raine some­how heard that and takes the tube out of her nose and hands it to Amy.

This just kills Amy and she falls over on my mom laugh­ing so hard and my dad starts laugh­ing so hard that he almost falls out of the booth. Which makes Amy laugh even hard­er. It took them a good 10 min­utes to calm down!

The whole time, Lor­raine and Muriel have no clue what is going on!

So always remem­ber, old peo­ple are cute, but half-deaf rel­a­tives are a riot!