I posted on Facebook when I woke up:
Woke up in tears…I had a very real-feeling bittersweet dream…long story short: I was “visited” by my great Aunt (who inspired me to be creative growing up) and I was able to finally say goodbye, which I wasn’t able to do when she died 2 years ago.
So I thought I would post the whole thing, mainly to record this down somewhere.
Some background first. My great-Aunt and Grandmother (sisters) lived together most of their adult lives (after my dad and his brother moved out). They lived in the same house in Highland Park for my entire life, until my Great-Aunt passed away in 2009.
My great-aunt was a huge influence in my life. I would go over to their house every weekend, my whole life. I learned so much from them and have so many memories. Out of my family, I was probably the closest to them.
My great-aunt (Muriel) was a very creative person. She sewed, she painted, she sketched, she would make crafts (occasionally) but she was very artistic. She would let me play with her oils, pastels, acrylics or what-have-you for hours and just experiment. She always made sure that I experienced so many things or tried different mediums. I still remember, clear as ever, the day she showed me what paper-mache was and how to make glue from flour.
So, she was a very important person in my life, and the main reason I am a graphic designer. She was always so proud (and I was always so proud to show her) all the things I would design or create. She was my #1 fan.
Now that you have that information.…back to my story.
I rarely dream anymore. It’s very rare. When I do, they are very whacked out dreams, and this was no different, but it had a very pleasant ending.
I first started dreaming that I was in a recording studio in Nashville in 1967-ish, and was listening to Dolly Parton record one of my favorite songs. (Side note: I don’t dream about Dolly Parton all the time, don’t get any ideas…this was the first time I ever recall having a dream with her in it. Normally I dream about friends, or places that are constantly around me).
The scene shifted and I was outside of a large church (which may have been my old Northeast Church of God) and there were a lot of people sitting on the lawn in lawn chairs (this is important, because my Aunt and grams were “Good Sam”-ers and would go camping all the time, and everyone sat in Lawn Chairs).
We were all watching a TV screen (straight out of 1986–big boxy thing) and my grandmother was on the screen, reading her will. So apparently she had passed away.
My family was there (my sister, my dad and me…not sure if my mom was there too or Amy and any of my kids) and a lot of my grandmother and great-aunt’s friends (most of whom are deceased…deceased in real life, not the dream).
But, I turn around, and there…set off from the rest of the group…is my Great-Aunt.
She was just how I remembered her looking, sitting her “certain” way in her lawn-chair (leg crossed, leaning on one arm, with her thumb anf fore-finger on her cheek/temple.) Wearing her green spring jacket and matching green slacks, her hair done the way it always was in this sort of round poof).
I ran over to her and I don’t recall what we talked about, but we visited. I do remember that I was crying while talking to her and telling her how good it was to see her again and she smiled at me and she spoke-back many times, but I don’t recall what she said as I am awake now.
Then everything started to fade as I woke up..still crying.
I never really got to say goodbye to her. We knew she wasn’t going to be around long. She had been in a nursing home temporarily for being ill, then went in for a surgery, (all the while she was still pretty lucid, but she would forget mundane things or what you just talked about). But she never recovered from that surgery. After that surgery, she didn’t know anyone, could barely talk, and she passed away three-days later.
I never got to see her in those three-days. We had planned a family-trip to Tennessee and had spend quite a lot of money reserving a cabin, so I missed the funeral in Duluth as well.
So I didn’t really didn’t get closure, I never got to really mourn her fully. When I awoke from this dream, I finally felt at peace with her passing. Like she was letting me say goodbye. I think with all the stuff that I have been dealing with lately, and the tiredness and stress of it all, left me more receptive to this visit.
They say that when you dream magical things happen (like, people finding answers to problems they have been agonizing over) and I believe its true.