I thought I would post this on my blog, instead of trying to cram it all into one little comment post on Facebook.
This is gonna be one LONG blog post. I also apologize if I jump around, I have many thoughts going through my head and I am trying to organize them in relevant order. I also apologize if I am not as eloquent in my writing.
I saw an interesting Poll on Facebook which asked:
SHOULD SAME SEX MARRIAGE BE LEGALIZED?
And I voted yes.
I have gotten some comments on it (nothing negative) and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this topic, so I figured I should get my thoughts down on the blog.
First of all, everyone has a right to his or her own opinions; it is a part of what makes this country free. People can comment on whatever they want, I don’t have to agree with them if I choose not to, but its great to hear the other side of things, it helps us broaden our minds and intelligence. And we can’t truthfully argue about something, if we don’t know both sides.
Growing up, I went to church for many years and I believe in God. My faith may not be as strong as it once was, but I do believe in Him and what the Bible says.
But, I do understand that the Bible was written in a very different time than ours, and that something just don’t fit in with today’s society (like the one about being able to stone your disobedient child…) So I take what the Bible says with a grain of salt.
In any case, I do believe that we are not to judge. That only God can judge.
Therefore, what right do I have to judge what someone else does? As long as they are not hurting me, my family, or society at large, what right do I have to tell them they are wrong? And quite frankly, can I do anything to change what they are going to do, probably not.
In the case of gay individuals, I don’t care what they do. Really. If I jump around and pitch a fit at them and say what they are doing is wrong, are they going to stop? Most likely not. If it is truly wrong then that is for God to decide on Judgement Day, not my place now. It is not my place to condemn.
This is especially true when that person is family. All you’ll end up doing is alienating someone who at some point meant something to you. Just because of something their doing that you don’t agree with, your going to throw away years of friendship? I couldn’t do that. Family is family, no matter what they do.
I would rather enjoy the company and friendship of people, than deny myself their friendship, because of the choices they make. (Many of my closest friends are Gay and I have had Gay relatives in my life.)
It’s not for me to judge, it’s not for me to condemn. The only thing that God asks me to do is to love them. That is all. That is all any of us can do.
Now, regarding the topic of Same Sex Marriages.
Yes, the Bible talks about marriage as a covenant between a man and a woman. I get that. But the Bible doesn’t talk about a signed little document (that quite frankly doesn’t mean much—I haven’t had to show mine as proof for anything) as that covenant. That is just a government document to signify that the person I declared as my spouse, is entitled to benefits, my property, and so forth. That is all. It is recognizing a partnership.
My friend Katie made an interesting point (see the comments). And what I meant by a useless piece of paper, didn’t come out the way I really meant (I was writing this at like 2 in the morning)
What I meant was that the marriage License/certificate is only used for the government when changing certain documents. After that, it really isn’t used. That being said, going back to the separation of church and state, the Government should not be deciding to issue a marriage license/certificate based on morality or religious reasons.
They should only be deciding to issue the certificate on this basis alone: It is a document that allows you to declare that this person is a partner and is entitled to your shares of property, benefits and the rights that go with that. That is it. Issues of morality, religion or anything else shouldn’t really be taken into consideration of that.
Because at its most basic form, a marriage is simply a partnership, and the Government should not be deciding what I choose that partnership should be. Love sure doesn’t. That is for me to decide, not the Government. If I want to share my property and benefits with someone, I should be allowed to do so.
Government also has this whole separation of church and state. So why should they even care? They are taking a religious stance on this issue by making same sex marriages illegal and unrecognizable.
For many years marriage wasn’t quite recognized by the church (actually there were many different types of “marriage”. Some were for money and some were for companionship. In medieval times (depending on the country), marriage was simply a contract to combine property and for improving status. Matter of fact, for the most part, most marriages weren’t even allowed to be held inside the church, but simply have a priest as a witness.
If it is so wrong, again, God will decide and judge. All we are doing is denying these couples the recognizable benefits that we receive from the Government and corporations as married couples. That is infringing on human rights.
The reason I support same sex marriages is this: If you have a partner that you have lived with for many years, and you love this person, they should be entitled to any benefits, property, and so forth as you deem fit or to inherit the property and pensions that you both shared.
I know that some of this is changing in regards to “civil unions” or “Domestic Partnerships” but those are not recognized in all states.
I recall an instance that I read about in a paper a few years ago on this issue that really was the turning point in my stance on this:
There was a Gay couple and when one partner was in the hospital on his death bed unconscious, his partner of over 30 years was not allowed in to see him, without the express permission of the remaining family (who didn’t care for his partner) so he couldn’t even be in the room or say goodbye and hold the hand of his partner. Not only that, but he then was denied any of the property or majority of possessions they shared, receive any of the financial assets they shared (I think the family was able to overturn the will somehow). He got barely anything.
Now, you tell me is that fair? You devote your life to someone and when that person dies, you are not allowed to say goodbye, to hold their hand, to keep the possessions and sentimental items that you collected over 30 years? I don’t believe that is right. Regardless what the church says, you are entitled to those basic rights.
Now, I know that civil unions or domestic partnerships try and fix this (and many corporations are allowing their benefits to extend to domestic partners), according to wikipedia:
“Civil unions or domestic partnerships are available to couples of the same sex, often carrying the same entailments as marriage, under a different name. However, these apply only to benefits under state law, and are not recognized by other states (with a few exceptions) or the U.S. federal government.”
It says right there “often carrying the same entailments as marriage”. So why can’t we call it a marriage? Does the church own a trademark on that name? And why don’t all states recognize a civil union? And why only under state law? Why not under Federal. These are things I cannot understand.
That is why I feel that same sex marriages should be allowed, only so that they can be guaranteed the rights that we all have according to the government and corporate policies.
I can’t speak on the religious aspect of it, which is for God alone to decide, but as a Government, we shouldn’t disallow certain individuals certain basic rights. It’s demoralizing, and inhuman. And it is not in alignment with what our Country stands for, a chance for freedom, Liberty and Justice and the pursuit of happiness.
I’m running out of steam here, and I am sure there are other people out there that say much better what I am trying to say.
I just ask that you go out, research, gather all the information you can, and make an informed decision on where you stand on issues. Not just this issue, but all issues. It’s our civic duty to make informed decisions and help our Government, well, govern us.
Thank you for taking time to read this.
4 thoughts on “My thoughts on Same-Sex Marriages”
I would also like to add (I keep thinking..)
Just because we don’t agree with someones decisions, or because they appear “different” from us, that doesn’t give us the right to deny them access to certain rights.
Look at what America did the African-Americans because they were “different” from us and we didn’t agree with them, we denied them from using the same bathroom as us, denied them from voting, denied them from going to certain school and much more.
And that is slowly changing as well.
It’s not our place to judge, and it isn’t our place to deny basic human rights.
I am going to start out by stating that I agree with you. Now, with that being said I am going to argue with what you claim to be a piece of paper.
Although we keep saying we need to write a will T and I have not done so yet. So, let’s say for a minute that I had decided that I didn’t believe that a piece of paper makes me married, T has a heart attack tomorrow. I don’t have a piece of paper making me his legal next of kin and I lose all rights to everything.
I can’t make any decisions about his health care, I can’t make any decisions about funeral arrangements, I lose the truck, I can’t touch anything that is in his name only, then what?
You have never had to use your marriage license for proof of anything because you didn’t change your name. I used to have to carry a copy in my purse because we happened to get married the same year they switched how they made drivers licenses and everything but my license had my married name on it because it took twice as long to get my license. I had to use a copy of our marriage certificate to do all of my name changes, to refinance our house and to apply for life insurance.
I think every couple should have to right to have a legal document that proves their commitment to one another. No, I don’t need a piece of paper to prove that I love T or that he loves me that’s what our vows and everyday relationship does. I do need that piece of paper to prove that I am his wife and that he is my husband and we made a legal choice to be together. Why can’t everyone have that legal option?
Katie, I updated my post to include what you said, because I do agree with you.