On my way home from work today I real­ized something.

While I am phys­i­cal­ly recov­er­ing from my my first major car acci­dent; emo­tion­al­ly, I don’t think I am.

Dri­ving is com­plete­ly dif­fer­ent for me now.

At every sin­gle inter­sec­tion, even if I am the only car there, I feel anx­i­ety. Every sin­gle intersection.

I have that feel­ing of, “will I get hit again?”

“Will a car come out of nowhere and hit me?”

As I dri­ve through (espe­cial­ly turn­ing through) an inter­sec­tion, I can almost relive the acci­dent: the sud­den­ness, the impact, the car being turned 180 degrees, the smell of the airbags…and then as I am out of the inter­sec­tion, the feel­ing is gone.

I feel this way through every sin­gle intersection.

Maybe it sounds strange, but its what I feel.

That acci­dent shook me to the core.

1 thought on “Recovering

  1. Its not strange at all. Don’t feel like it’s you.…it’s NORMAL.

    I’ve been in 3 acci­dents total — one severe one as a pas­sen­ger when I was 15, 2nd as a pas­sen­ger which was minor and the 3rd as the dri­ver — I was hit on the front pas­sen­ger cor­ner as I was mak­ing a left turn onto a freeway. 

    I had the same fear you do every time for a very long time. I’m still a very cau­tious dri­ver and now don’t like to dri­ve at all. I’m okay in my own neigh­bor­hood but once I leave there its total­ly nerve-wracking. 

    Your anx­i­ety is not crazy or a weird over reac­tion. I felt the same way. The good news is that over time you will regain your con­fi­dence and it will get eas­i­er. I think when you sus­tain an injury, how­ev­er minor, the real­i­ty of what might have been hits a bit deeper. 

    You will feel bet­ter with time and it won’t be so intense. 🙂

    Take care, Alex

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