as my world turns

i sit here not know­ing where to begin…

i am writ­ing in all low­er­case because i feel so small in this world that likes to deal me shit­ty cards. i love my job and i love the com­pa­ny i work with. but i wish i had more con­trol over my destiny.

i found out that the assign­ment i am on is ter­mi­nat­ing one of the full time posi­tions. there are only two of us at night and my cowork­er has been there longer so she got to decid­ed if she want­ed the posi­tion or not. she did, so i am pret­ty much out. they are cre­at­ing a pool of peo­ple they can call when they get major swamped. i am in it, but not for long. my agency is find­ing me a new gig.

i am amazed at how fast they may have some­thing lined up for me. its third shift, low­er pay, but at least amy will have the van all day and all night and i will be home (awake) when the kids get home from school and be here for them when they real­ly need me. i will just have to get used to sleep­ing all day.

but at least my ben­e­fits will stay steady and so will the hours. i just wish the pay was clos­er to what i am mak­ing now. but i can’t have everything.

(UPDATE: I nev­er did take this assign­ment, they can­celed it. But, a year lat­er, it came by again and I did take it.)

i am cur­rent­ly reim­port­ing all my music cds into my lap­top so that i can reor­ga­nize before i put them on my serv­er. i moved my music around so much that i want­ed to make sure i had the best qual­i­ty. and now that i have sooo much space, i can keep all the albums and not just the songs i like.

once all that is done, i move onto import­ing old LPs and then onto scan­ning old documents.

cur­rent­ly in my ipod/playlist:

• Queen Lat­i­fah… Dana Owens Project
• Madaleine Pey­roux… dream land
• sean paul… dut­ty rock
• and a mix of ear­ly 90s music

i also can’t believe we blew right through all our tax mon­ey. but we had things we real­ly need­ed. so i guess it is okay. i just wish we had a ton of mon­ey. i love my new home, but i real­ly want to be liv­ing in our dome home right now. all that space and stuff. it be like liv­ing in an amuse­ment park.

i am vis­it­ing with my old coworker/best friend from alpha on sat­ur­day. i am gonna help her get her nephews xbox set up on her net­work. i am also buy­ing her draw­ing tablet from her, so that i can draw/paint dig­i­tal­ly. i used to love to water­col­or, but it takes space and is messy, but not for long.

amy bought me won­der woman sea­son 1 and 2. i am hap­py about that.

i just wish my life was going bet­ter right now. a ton of mon­ey and lots of hap­pi­ness. i just feel so help­less and lost and no con­trol over my own life. i feel like a drone, just doing what the queen bee tells me to (no not amy)

not much else right now.