The Blog of Bert Jones

Okay, so I am in a funk. I hate it. I hate being in a funk, I FUNKin’ Hate it.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t know what to do with my career. I don’t know what to do with my vol­un­teer work. Nothin.

Where should I begin… I don’t like working third shift. I don’t hate it, kind of nice and quiet, but the sleep schedule sucks.

I want to work from home. I want to work, when I want to work. But I am so afraid of taking the leap and trying to start my own busi­ness. Could I actu­ally do it? Am I good enough to have my own design studio? Maybe I should go back to school. I don’t know.

I am tired of my vol­un­teer work with the Coöper­a­tive. WAY MORE work than I ever imag­ined. Takes up WAY too much time and there is just WAY too much DRAMA! I can’t stand drama. I have enough of my own! Then friend­ships get in the way and I don’t know if I should be loyal, or make sure the work is get­ting done…

I don’t know if I still want to be on the Board of Direc­tors, or Just be the Communications/Marketing Chair­person or nei­ther. I want my life back, but I can’t afford to not be there. NO ONE can do the work that I do. If no one can do it, I fear we could loose our home and then where would I be? I don’t know.

I am tired of WoW. Now that I made level 60, everyone expects me to help them out here or do this quest with them there, “because I am level 60 and have nothing else to do” or “Your in our guild so you have to help us”.

Well no I don’t, I just wanna relax and play and de-stress. I don’t even like playin my 60, I have played her for SOOOO LONG! I wanna try a dif­ferent char­acter, but feel like I just have to check in every now and then oth­er­wise I am labeled “Too Busy To Care”. And I don’t like that, before I was a 60, I helped everyone I could if they needed it and I hap­pened to not be helping someone else. I did that since level 30. Can I be done now?.…

So I left my guild. Not that I really wanted to, but I don’t know anyone on there any­more other than my char­ac­ters and my two good Friends. And all these new people on there get pretty rude (see para­graph above). It isn’t the same guild any­more. Lately I am never actu­ally playing because I either have to try and break up a very heated/insulting dis­cus­sion (and then get chewed out for trying to calm things down) or I get insulted myself and then don’t feel like playin. I don’t know.

I am tired of money. Even though I have a job, I am busting my ass to play catchup on bills. Then on top of that my car has to break and cost me $900 to fix (that I don’t have). I hate it. Can I please win the lot­tery? Just once? Can I please win like 500 mil? I would be happy, trust me.

My family still wants a dome home, and I don’t know how we are ever going to raise the $40,000 we will need for the down­pay­ment (roughly a $300,000 home and I would need at least 10% to get that kind of a loan, if not more). It is so hard for us to save any money!

I don’t know. I really don’t know.

The only thing I do know is that I love my family and my wife and my mom and sister and brother-in-laws and sister-in-laws and just plain old in-laws. I love that aspect of my life, I just wish every­thing else would work out along with it.

“Life is an ocean. A twisting nether at one time, a calming plain another. For­ever changing. Some­times for better, some­times for worse, but always changing; turning into some­thing beau­tiful or some­thing ugly. How we swim in that sea, deter­mins our course. We either swim hard, or float through, or drown. But it is our choice that makes the dif­fer­ence.” — Bert Jones

Wow, I just wrote that. I don’t really think of myself as a writer, but that just spewed forth from my fin­ger­tips. Hmm.…somewhat sat­is­fying actu­ally. Kiki? Is this what it is like to write? Not knowing exactly what your writing until you think you are done? And then looking at it and feeling a com­ple­tion? A grat­i­fi­ca­tion? I envy you. No, I take that back. I am lucky to know you.

All the things that you do, cre­atively at least, inspire me to try the same. You also inspire me to try harder, no matter what life throws at me. You inspire me to just try. Thank you for being my good (best?) friend.

Kiki?… You out there?… Hello?… (hehehe..LOL)

Wow… It has been two months since I wrote in here last.

Well, you can blame that on my best friend Kiki. Last Fall she got me hooked on World of War­fract and now that is what I do in my spare time.

Not much has been going on around here, but I thought I should at least write something!

My 10 year reunion is this year… kinda ner­vous about it…

If you play WoW… I am on Khadgar… Ele­phaba is my main char­acter… Horde Side. Trying to post a pic­ture, but it doesn’t like me today… check my pho­to­blog for one…

LeeAnn Womack

I just recently re-discovered Lee Ann Womack. She has an awe­some voice and some good music!

Cur­rently I am lis­tening to:

• Lee Ann Womack — Ashes by now, You Got To Talk to Me, Men­do­cino County Line, Little Past Little Rock, Does My Ring Burn your Finger.
• Reba McEn­tire — Till You Love Me, Every­time You Touch Her
• Dolly Parton — You Are, Sandy’s Song, Almost in Love, After the Goldrush
• Joy Enriquez — How Can I Not Love You
• Garou — Gitan, Soul le Vent (with Celine Dion)
• Judds — Falling In Love Tonight,
• Alison Kraus — Whiskey Lul­labye (with Brad Paisley), In The Palm of Your Hand
• Annie Lennox — Cold
• K’s Choice — Virgin State of Mind (thanks to Kiki!)
• Celine Dion — Aun Existe Amor, Tu Nages
• No Doubt — It’s My Life

Busted my ass at work tonight to get done early so I could meet my friend at the bar they hang out at on Tues­days. I had a great time. I got to meet her new love. Seems like a really nice person and I am happy for her. She filled me in on the latest gossip and hap­pen­ings at my old job. WOW!

Tonight I real­ized that I am bad at saying good bye or exiting a con­ver­sa­tion. As we were parting, she said, Drive safely and it was great seeing you and all I said was, “yeah!” I could have said, “You drive safe too and it was great seeing you again.” But I didn’t, I felt like an idiot!

So, Kiki, Drive safely, and it was GREAT seeing you again and I really missed you!